Conclusion 'n' stuff

So I've talked with a lot of folk and rec'd some good advice. Fortunately, it's been in sync (bye bye bye) with my gut.

Bottom line, no blabberblogging away about this gal.

And I suppose I can't blog about my patients (as interesting as they are, even the guy who put a screwdriver in his tongue because the voices told him to not withstanding). SO work's out of the question.

Had happy hr with two good friends and that was fun. That's the thing about blogging, it's really one-sided. Never know if anyone's reading, feedback is limited, at best, and overall a bit exhibitionist. (And yes, that means the reader is the voyeur).

I can say that I have a lot of really, really good feelings running in the veins now, but have gone through enough (any old reader remembers the Butterflies girl I had met a few years ago which fluttered straight to the fire) - I need to be a bit emotionally cautious. I mean, come on, a week ago I hadn't even met this woman, and was on another date...

I have shut down the other dating channels at least to allow this some room to grow. I suppose I won't end the Return of Yours Truly just yet...but I would be quite the happy camper to close the dating chapters of my life in exchange for one lovely novel.

...to be continued?

Decisions, conflicts, oh, what do to?

Dear Reader,

The following is an email I sent out today regarding the blog - I'm looking for feedback:

"So I restarted the whole blog after a pretty unfortunate break up this past Spring. I don't mind semi-gossipping about my dates etc, but this past weekend I met someone who I'm very (seriously) interested in. Now I'm hesitant to write about it because I feel there's some real emotional investment going on. Like the blog is sorta "fun" but when a real opportunity comes up, I balk to spread the news in any tabloid manner. Does this make sense? So the question is that I'm thinking of putting things on pause, or otherwise just writing generically (but that's no fun to read). Or I can just post with my thoughts like this...hmm, maybe I will."

And obviously, I did just that. More background: my cousin seriously pulled through and did some magical match-making choices with the set-up last Friday. I may be in new territory here, but hesitate to say anything for risk of jinxing it... But something's in the Autumn air and it's feeling mighty good. :)

PS...

Almost forgot, let's add another $85 for sushi and $21 for the drinks after, and just for fun, the $5 toll on the golden gate bridge = $111 to be added to the Date Cost-o-Meter! Oh the price of finding love...Gee I need a coupon.

Ole'

Morning folks! Well my oh my, that was a fun date. Drove up to meet the señorita, got there at 7. Super-cute and fun; we had a great dinner. A little snuggly too. A drink afterward and good convo and rapport. Not to kiss and tell (oh come on, who am I kidding) by 11:30 it was a bit of smoochville. Eventually had to head home and we're going out again next week (ooh, a second date for the good doctor!)

Now ironically, in a minute I have to pack for my trip to SoCal! I mean really, who do I think I am, an eligible bachelor or something? But still have the happy hour plans to meet my future wife, so says my cousin. The trouble, you can see is what happens if tonight goes really well? I'm not going to get ahead if myself though, it's only been one date with the señorita and one phone conversation with the future wife. I can have the tendency to get emotionally involved a little quicky sometimes, so keeping a good pace is a food idea.

And oh side note bonanza!!!!! FINALLY my great couple-friends are getting married (they met like 13 years ago). They are a bit goofy with the last minute-ness, (as in, the wedding's next month). So I'll be flying to NYC in a few weeks! Craaaazy!

Well off to pack, wish me well with the future wife and I'll keep you posted as usual, dear reader.

Cow Stomachs

Well, the old laptop is kaput, so here I am using the folk's computer (anyone know what replacement I should get?).

Had drinks and apps last night (add $104 to the bill) - this gal was nice, smart, cute...and...really, really liked to talk. A lot. I think I'm too much of a "good listener". Maybe she was nervous, maybe she just talks a lot. I dunno. But I was zoning out after one of her 15 minute ramblings. I mean, again, she was nice, but I'm not just looking for nice...

In fact, as soon as the date ended, I called back my future wife (as my cousin put it). She had called and left me a message. We had made plans to chat before I fly down tomorrow. Had a nice hour convo including her telling me about some "fistulated" cow in her college that had a hole in it's side so you could put your hand in it?!? Ah, U.C. Davis... But I did really enjoy talking with her and will see her tomorrow! This, I know, is crazy, but I'll be flying out in the afternoon to SoCal and meeting up for Happy Hour. The future wife at least it seems, is super smart, attractive, fun on the phone, insightful and heck, my cousin has high standards, so if my cousin says she's a catch, at least that's a filter!

Can't get to ahead of myself because tonight's the sushi date! Yup it's about a 40 minute drive over the Golden Gate Bridge to this gal's town, so we'll see. At least I'll get to practice my Spanish with this Mexico City-born chica.

In other news, contemplating meeting up my buddy when he goes to Hawaii in early December - he already has the place, so it's a simple as getting time off work and buying a ticket. Even though I'd be there 10 days later for Christmas, I'm thinking about it! And I did love that movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall...

Had lunch with my 18 wk pregnant-gal-friend today. She's great and always is good for a check in and to bounce ideas off of. (They're having a girl, by the way).

Okay, off to peruse amazon and overstock for laptops...yee haw. More to come folks!

Ack.

So today I'm at my laptop typing away and suddenly... Nothing. As in, nothing more on the screen. It's a sad rest of the story but it ends with the computer guy saying "if it were me, I'd just get a new computer..."

Now I'm trying to blog on my iPhone and sorry folks, it's a pain.

But good news is the leaky ceiling is fixed. Then tomorrow's date and I, while chatting tonight realize we have mutual friends and she' house-sat for a month right across my parent's home. Small world. Drinks at 7 tomorrow.

Also spoke with my Thursday date, a friend-of-a-friend drug rep... She sounds nice on the phone, corrects my Spanish and we have plans for sushi...

Had burgers and beer with my good bud yesterday; that insightful conversation is worth repeating, but I have to find a keyboard!!!

More to come, including my second of three consecutive weekends in SoCal!!!

Part Duo! :)

Well, well, so much to say, so much to say...ergo, abridged version:

Last Saturday night: I and the cousins meet up, happy hour, "make it a double" - next thing we're heading out to a schwanky LA restaurant where the steaks are $17/oz. That can add up for a nice piece of meat, at about $272 per pound. A number of drinks and it's all good. Briefly head to the club next door... next thing is after midnight and we're home. Note to self: do not let cousin take my iPhone and send friends messages on Facebook after she's had a few. Funny, very yes. Possible trouble? Yes again. Anyway, she took my phone, I didn't care, and next thing there's random posts on my friend's pages from "me".

At that time, I'm feeling pretty good. So good, in fact, that I decide to go ahead and tell my *other* cousin to arrange a meet 'n' greet with my future wife (see previous post). So without really thinking, I log into Southwest.com and buy myself a ticket to fly down for a happy hour to meet this friend of my cousin. I mean really? I just bought an airline ticket? Geeze, add that to the tally, now looking at $676 spent on date related stuff.

Anyway to wrap it up, we had a fun night - until about 4 A.M. when our collective stomachs started to complain...

Sunday ended up with a nice brunch and I decided to drive home. BUT wait, you ask - what about the young 25 year old hedge fund girl? Yes yes. So I had left a message with her days before, no answer. Then Saturday day I also checked in with her. No reply. While I'm away at brunch on Sunday, she finally leaves me a voicemail, and apologizes that her phone has been goofy. Whatever. I don't call her back. Then she sends me three (3!) text messages trying to get a hold of me, wonders if Sunday doesn't work if I'll be in town Monday night to have drinks after work...

Honestly, I'm just tired. And really, that wouldn't go anywhere, so halfway home to NorCal, I text her, tell her what's up. She was disappointed as she was "so much looking forward to meeting me". Well, not so much that she didn't check her voicemail for a few days. "Maybe we can meet up next time" I'm in LA, she asks. "Sure" I say. Sure thing. Oh well, she can find some nice guy closer to her and closer to her age, I'm sure.

And I drove 6 hours home, only to be reminded of my leaky kitchen ceiling. But that's another story.

SO I had a great trip to SoCal! Can't wait to go back. Oh wait, I am, like in 4 days!!!

At least I don't have more dates this week before then. Or do I?? ;) more to come next time!

This Week's Sneak Preview Key Words:

Wednesday:: 1/2 Italian Roommate
Thursday: Representing NorCal
Friday: Now Boarding...

I'm bAAAAck! Part Uno

Holy macaroni, with extra cheese and tater tots on top! What a little adventure yours truly had, let's see if I can do it justice with an accurate recap.

Okay, um, left off, what last Wednesday, had a belated birthday dinner with dessert. So when I work up the next day with a 4 hour drive ahead of me for my work lunch, I was running on little sleep. I give these talks to other doctors on occasion and wear a suit. Needless to say, halfway before I arrived at my talk, I realized I forgot a tie. Luckily my rep had an extra to bring to me. But then when I arrived and went to change, I realized I had also forgot to pack dress socks. It could have been bad, suit, no tie and wearing white socks. (Banana Republic to the rescue). Anyway, the talks went fine as I previously wrote about.

So Friday I rolled into SoCal and met a friend for lunch. See if you can follow the connection: she's the ex-wife and ex-BFF of the fiance that was supposed to marry one of my best college buddies. (The ex-fiance cheated on my friend with this girl's husband.) Anyway, the other significant part of the story is that my buddy D passed away unexpectedly last April. (That's another looong story). But in the end, I'm still very good friends with this girl (again, who was the maid of honor for the bad girl before everyone's trust went in the toilet).

I bring this up because as I'm randomly having lunch with her at The Counter (great burgers, btw), lo and behold I see another college friend walk in. We see each and say hi; the last time we had seen each other was at my friend's funeral (and prior to that was 15 years ago). That was kind of random. We all caught up and it was nice.

I had a few hours before meeting up with my cousins, so I went to visit and pay my respects. Difficult, but I'm glad I went.

The end of Friday was visiting my cousin and his GF; we did the "we've got spirit" and went to his high school's football game (where he went and now teaches). Cute - the students, the marching band, cheerleaders, etc; plus they won 35-0. The rest of my stay with them was boardgames, Rock Band and hanging out.

Saturday...I met up with Halfsie for lunch. Yes, yes, she's cute in person, and fun and we got along pretty well. In that easy-going sorta way. Nice convo etc; but I think the day was tempered by the fact that she's not interested in a long distance thing. I respect that. But in the end, a hug and "call me next time you're down, I'd like to hang out again...". Yeah, not going to happen, in all honesty.

PLUS, now let's add another $18 for lunch (she bought drinks afterward) but that brought my date expense tally up to $543...

And whew, that's enough for this post. Saturday Night's adventure and shenanigans is for the upcoming post :)

On the road again...

Hi kids. Trying to compose on the ol' iPhone so thus may be a short entry, but...
The work part of my trip is over, so here comes the fun! A waitress at the restaurant last night recognized me from the TV show I was on last year. Funny. (I'll recap that whole story when I get back). Now I have a 4 hr drive ahead of me to see friends and fam!

Other recent date-updates: another super-rad cousin (actually I'm very lucky that all my cousins are awesome) texted me yesterday "I found your future wife!" Okay, you got my attention! This gal's down on San Diego, hhrumph, but still my mantra says never hurts to meet someone. I told my cuz to work her magic...

Then I get an out-of-the-blue message from a random girl. I write her back, calling her miss sneaky (she didn't tell me her name). What reveals itself later is that a mutual friend apparently "said good things about me" and told [her] to contact me. She's single; successful, after a few emails we exchanged photos and she cute to boot! Not boot as in "boot her out if the car", mind you.

We're going to chat when I get back from this trip.

So tonight's cousins #1/2 and tomorrow's lunch with mystery halfsie Asian gal before evening fun with the next cousins!

Here comes the fun, so I'd better get this show on the road!!

Shake it up

I feel compelled to jot an idea down, even though it's past this doc's bedtime. (Have to get up early to drive 4 hours for my lunch meeting, blah blah).

Some thoughts: Many people, including myself, have often said (in regards to a relationship), "all I want is to be able to be myself with (him/her)." "I know I'm relaxed when I can just be myself and that's a sign that it's all good". Or some mumbo jumbo like that.

Agree? Well consider this idea that popped into my head an hour ago. Maybe I just don't want to always "be myself". Maybe there are habits, rituals, ways of thinking, routines, that although are "all me", I wouldn't mind a bit of a change for once. I mean, who wants a date/partner that in some way doesn't challenge us? Get us out of our comfort zone in order to grow? Or at least experience new ideas or ways of thinking? As much as I do "like" myself, and feel comfortable "being myself", I also am attracted to women who entice me to get out of my box.

Now of course I appreciate someone who "allows " me to be myself, but heck, if no one ever said, "uh hey Dr. Joey, can you be a bit less hardheaded?" then I guarantee I wouldn't change on my own. (Or probably at a much slower rate). So here's to those ladies and future ladies who I will not entirely be "myself" when I'm around them. Here's to you bringing out the best, the unexplored and the new out of me.

Here's to Change. Yes I can. ;)

RIP Patrick Swayze

Not that you're on the edge of your seat wondering if my ceiling's still dripping water, but it is. So my typical afternoon off is now being used to wait for the plumber (and of course update ya'll). So...

Sunday's dinner is now moved to Wednesday. This is a girl from a party I had the week before - we've gone out before...

Last night, went to a popular Crispy Taco place in the city for a happy hour with a co-worker chica. She's in the middle of her own relationship stuff, so we commiserated over beers and tacos. And more beers. Let's just say we get along well. Had such a good time I forgot my credit card there at the bar...note: don't leave a tab open for over 24 hours...heh.

Getting more excited for my SoCal trip: should be there Friday. Daytime is lunch with a friend, before meeting mom-side cousins Friday night. Not sure what we'll do, but they're always fun. (And younger than I am, so I can at least pretend I have a lot of energy!). Then Saturday, plan on meeting the halfsie Asian oralmaxillarysurgeryresident gal for lunch. She and I have been chatting and email most days now, for better or worse. Have to admit, I'm looking forward to meeting her. We all know nothing matters until you meet...

Saturday night should be hot salsa night because I'm meeting dad-side cousins. They're the ones recently married with something like a 12 foot wedding cake to die for. Okay, not true, it was only 8 feet tall. Haven't seen them since their hitchin'.

Sunday before I drive home, I'm supposed to meet up with the young(er) one for lunch or something. I think because she's so actively interested and persistent, heck, no harm in meeting for a bite, right?

On the sad note is the plan to visit the grave of my college roommate who passed away just this April. It's weird to talk about it (we're all WAY too young to be discussing deaths of friends). But I can't go down there without visiting. *sigh*

Okay, on that note, hopefully that darn plumber will be here soon, and yes, a moment of silence for Patrick Swayze, geeze, Red Dawn, Dirty Dancing, that one Chippendale episode on SNL with Chris Farley that still makes me pee in my pants... (hmm, tried to embed the video, but no-can-do), just google it and have yourself a laugh...

Water water everywhere...

Sunday, Sunday. It's dinner time, yet I'm not at dinner. Supposed to be out right now, courtesy of one little friend for a belated-b-day delight. But nooOOOoooo, SOMEone's kitchen ceiling decided about an hour ago to just...start...dripping. Out of nowhere. On my head. From the track lighting. (did I mention on my head?). I suppose fortunately I was home and literally right under the problem when it started and not already out at dinner. But now there's this incessant dripping going on 15 feet away from me into a plastic cooler.

I went to my upstairs neighbor and even her upstairs neighbor and nada, nothing, ziltch - just dry.

AAugh. I don't even know where the water mains are in my building! (Another note to self, know thy own building). So I call tonight's date and tell her the deal (I know, I know, sounds like a fishy excuse, huh "oh, I can't have dinner with you tonight, there's water dripping from my kitchen ceiling lights...what? no, I'm not on the top floor..." Told her I needed a literal raincheck (it's raining today here for the first time in months!). Maybe Wednesday night before I drive down to So Cal.

Speaking of SoCal; yuppers still a Saturday and Sunday lunch dates with two different gals who coincidently live within 10 minutes of each other. Spoke with Saturday halfsie Asian last night for almost 2 hours and again today for another hour. Hmm. Not sure what that says except for perhaps we're good on the phone. More to come with the SoCal adventures in the next few days... Gotta head off for now, my ceiling's running...

Imagine what the future holds...within reason

Saw my adolescent patients today at work (my weekend job). 14 year olds, 16 year olds; dealing with issues that no child should be faced with, let alone at any age. It's an interesting job I have. Puts my life into perspective - especially this trivial dating adventure I'm on...

...and...speaking of which, recent updates abound.
The Good: I had a dinner date yesterday with zoo-girl, a dinner date tomorrow, and two lunch dates ahead of me when I visit SoCal next weekend. One could say I'm getting out there. Plus I've chatted a bit more with that one gal I wrote of yesterday (the one who seems to have a lot of similarities, with the catch of living far away). Anyway, it's just exciting to have new people to meet with new experiences ahead.

The Bad: Starting however, to feel a teeny tiny bit over my head. Probably time to sloooow things down. When keeping things light, I have to remember to keep it light. For better or worse, last evening was, uh, not exactly light; circumstances (and sake) likely got the best of us. Now she's left for a 2 week trip, I have a few other dates lined up and I just want to prevent things from getting complicated.

See, even these posts aren't really clear. Not a good sign when I can't convey what I'm thinking clearly. Time to back up!! Okay. Whew. Maybe I'll just sleep on all of this and hope tomorrow's more clear. As I mentioned above, it's not worth getting all bunched up over, it's just dating...

But wait, there's more

Disclaimer: I have no super-vampire powers to meet people, I just do. Oh, and and I also joined one of those date-o-rama websites and a story from this venture follows:

(And I couldn't wait to get this one out to you.) So yesterday, via the magic of the internet, fairy dust, crushed black rhino tusk and oregano, I "virtually" bump into the following gal:

Her: 30-something Asian-Eastern European mix, born East Coast, raised in Hawaii, lives in CA. Super cute oral maxillofacial surgeon.

Recall, Me: 30-something Asian-Eastern European mix, school in East Coast, family in Hawaii, lives in CA. Dashingly handsome (lol) adult psychiatrist. I sense a possible CSI match here.

SooOOOooo, I write her. (ooh, she just sent me a text, but I'm getting ahead of myself)

Needless to say, I'm smitten with a bit of excitement. I write her. I preface it with the "I know similar traits on paper are no guarantee of a connection in person, blah blah (but true)". We exchange a few emails. Turns out there are many other similarities. We exchange phone numbers and plan to call each other soon. (This is all last night).

Sounds good so far, right? WELL ain't there ALWAYS a catch?!? Yes, there is a catch. Not like "she's a good catch" and not like the "24 pound salmon" big catch, but just the minor detail about her California abode being 400 miles away from my California abode. Now I didn't bring it up, but her first email words were, "darn why don't you live closer". And her last words from her most recent email were "yes, definitely give me a call. to be honest this totally won't go anywhere because i will never attempt a long distance relationship ever again, but it will be fun to talk." (and that's a cut 'n' paste)

Well, I guess she made her point clear.

BUT, fair audience, why let that get in the way? I still sent her a text this morning and we've been texting back and forth as I'm writing this post (see you guys, you always get the most up-to-date goods from me). And here's the plan (shhh). I'm going to give her a call over this weekend, see if we have a furthered connection on the phone, chat a bit and then mention that I'll be in So Cal this next weekend and see if she's free to meet (in between my family visits).

Why not, right? Is any of this realistic? Nah, probably not, we haven't even spoken on the phone. But fun to think about - when one of my cousins met her (now husband) they were also a NorCal/SoCal team for a bit... But the gal above seemed pretty set in her conviction, and that's fine. (until I work my black rhino tusk concoction into the mix, that is).

As always, I'll keep ya posted.

(Oh and a PS for R., she's 25.)

...hmm

[Side note: strange to think it's been 8 years since 9/11. I was driving to the hospital my intern year and remember hearing it on the radio - when I got to work everyone had the TVs on. Most things in the area were shut down, but us docs were obviously on edge for whatever might come next. I know many of us were directly or closely affected with friends, family or colleagues. So before I potentially fall into any social commentary, I'll just take a moment to remember...]

And now back to our regularly scheduled program...

Met with a friend/mentor today for brunch. We'll call him Uncle P. He's both an old family friend and a past supervisor during my residency. Like a fun uncle, he's full of stories and sage advice. Besides work-chat, he reminded me of the struggle to balance the ideas of commitment, idealism and perfection. That is, some people's ideals and goals of perfection prevent a jump to commitment. You know, like something shouldn't be done unless it'll come out perfectly or 100%. We all know those types. (Myself included? Naw.)

It can sometimes be a struggle to not see realistic expectations as a compromise or lowering of standards; life has to be what it is and not what we imagine it to be.

That's a convoluted way of saying I have to be realistic about things (but hopeful is okay); and also make sure others are realistic about what I can offer them and be for them. Projecting our stuff on others can be just as difficult as them projecting their ideals on us.

WHEW! Geeze maybe too much talking was going on with Uncle P. But it hit home.

Hmm. Well, in other news, I have a girl-story for you, but that will be comin' up next. Farewell (how did fair-well become farewell?) Happy Friday.

Twill-what?

First of all, what's the deal with the vampire-philia? I mean, since when did the whole pre-pubescent through mid-30's world get so excited about vampires? True Blood, Twilight, even on that one South Park episode; I just don't get it. I was having lunch yesterday with co-workers and all they could talk about was Full Moon or Blue Moon or whatever it's called. All this on the past decade's heels of wizardry-stuff. And some say the 80s were bad.

Anyway, today's a beautiful day. Hot even. A rare beach day for this fine city. Should be even warmer in SoCal when I get there next week. But before I get too excited about that trip (to see cousins and friends), there's still a few days here to fill with joy and wonder.

In the matter of 2 hours this morning, got 3 messages, um, yes, from 3 different folk: One is K, who I went on the date the other night, but is currently away on vacation. She said hi. Next was the zoo-date-gal, confirming dinner tomorrow. Sheesh, why not, saysme. Then a howdoyado email from the gal I took to a concert a few weeks back - she wants to take me out to a belated b-day lunch. I'm feeling sorta popular. Oh and folks, we've already established way back that anyone at work is off-limits, right? (Right?)

Did I mention zoo-gal's leaving for a 2 wk trip abroad day after tomorrow? Not a promising embarkation for a get-to-know-ya phase. Oh well, I think I'm okay with that.

And, uh, ahem, turns out theyoungergal still wants to meet when I'm down South next weekend. Against my own judgment and my friends' advice, I said "sure I'll have brunch." Perhaps I need to be more selective...or not. I dunno what the rules are. That being said, I did get some sage advice from a buddy the other night about the general approach - sort of the "life's short" perspective. Have fun, don't waste anyone's time (including my own) and be nice whenever possible. Or something like that.

SO here's to vampires; targeting the innocent with their pale skin and deep black eyes, using their special mind powers to entice their victims to their passionate, blood sucking doom. Hmm, maybe I do see the appeal...(yikes). Extra reason to wear my sunscreen...

Whoo hoo, the zoo

I like half-days. 'specially sunny ones. But out of duty, obligation and commitment to you folk, here's a quickie entry before I venture outside. Went to the zoo yesterday with S. First date, (oh yeah, let's add $47 to the date-cost-o-meter) and it was pretty dang groovy. At least the sun was out, and for those who know the location of our zoo (next to the typically fog-embraced beach), that's a rarity. Did you know giraffes have the same number of neck vertebrae as humans? And gorillas have the same blood type as humans and can receive human transfusions? I didn't either. Ahh, trivia.

So the day passed, we chatted, things moved a-l-o-n-g. Hmm, maybe too many things moved along in ways things don't typically move along after a first date at the zoo. I guess funny things happen sometimes. I had a moment of "geeze what's going on here" but didn't have a full freak out. I'm still pretty sure I'm ready for the dating thing, maybe just the speed of yesterday's date surprised me a bit. But another tidbit is that she's leaving this weekend for two weeks abroad. So we shall see. We might squeeze in a dinner later this week though. I'll reserve judgement for a later date...

Another funny thing happened on the way to the office...got an email from one of the other guests from this past weekend's wedding. She asked me out for coffee. Hmm. Hmm, I say.

Interesting times as I realized the majority of my male rat-pack are not nearby anymore. Some are abroad traveling distant lands, others moved to the other coast; others just live far away or recently moved out of this city. Man, WTF? My posse is thinning out!!

Ok, it's too nice to sit around. Off to enjoy the afternoon. Now you go do the same.

The Labor of Love

It's Labor Day. Made me think of the time and effort that should be put into relationships. It's a long haul, but boy, it's worth it. So I went to the wedding last night in wine country. Saw some people I hadn't in over 10 years, and a few other old friends as well. The ceremony was nice and it was great to be able to see an ex-GF say her marriage vows and not feel odd about it. I was just happy for her and her dude. The rest of the wedding had a rated-R puppet show of their courting, and then dancing, etc. There were a few people my age, but mostly older adults, so not much breakdancing on the dance floor.

I think the attendees of weddings certainly shift depending on the age of the wedding couple. During and right after college, the weddings of my friends certainly had a different feel compared to last evening with the couple in the late 30's early 40's. But equally fun, just different. (Boy, I've been to quite a few weddings in my time...)

This gets back to my thought of all the effort they had put into their relationship so far. I know they've courted, gone on trips to Hawaii and also visited respective families and moved in together (she gave up her cat!) and on and on. All of that time, energy and patience and compromise and they've just married. They still have many, many years ahead of them and it'll take a lot more than they've already put in. Yet, if it's a labor of love, it shouldn't be laborious.

So them's my thoughts. Oh, and by the way, there wasn't really a wedding party, only her sister as a maid of honor and he had two co-best men.

And laaastly, in my little world: no word from the youngin' penpal, and I'm going to get ready for a date this afternoon with an intriguing gal who I've just been chatting with. If things go well (or don't) that'll come up next episode... Happy Labor Day, may you be fortunate enough to have a love of some sort to put your labors towards.

Ok, that was fun

Yesterday was quite a blast. Went to a friend's in the afternoon - by the time I got there the furious four were already on bottle number 3 (or 4 or 5, seemed like) and I joined the festivities sitting in the sun on the back porch. Some of them old high school friends, so we go way back.

Let's just say that nice heady conversations about health care reform quickly turned to dating life and then eventually non-stop laughs as *some* people tried to overfeed the cat and others threw grapes at the chicken coop next door. It got bad (or good, depending on how you look at it) quite quickly. So what would be next, you ask? Dual Bud Light chugging? I'll have to protect the identity of the not-so-innocent and refrain from posting the video, but here's a pic and just imagine the rest.



(and yes, it's only a beer can - no smoochies going on). Then the afternoon turned into dealing with a friend's marriage crisis (husband's wife leaves for another woman, tabloid-style). And a few hours later... (and few drinks, I might add) we're at another home. It's being house/dog-sat. A woman walks in and we do an odd double take but not say anything. Ten minutes into it as we chat, we remember that I met her two years ago at a bar/restaurant. She was (still is) a bartender/floor staff there. It was some MTV party thing that I crashed and had met her at the white wine station. But she remembered too. Funny. I told her how I had almost asked her out that night (true story) - she smiled. But now two years later she's living with her boyfriend...

Anyway, the evening mellowed out, I'm grateful to have super kick-ass friends. Too bad my memory is so diluted with the "He-brew" beer (yes, that's the name) and Bud Light to remember all the other things I had wanted to say. Oh well, more to come.

YIKES!! It's almost noon and I have to get my butt up to the ex-GF's wedding!! I'm curious to see how it goes tonight...

...and final note: I sent an email to the younger gal who I've been exchanging emails with. I questioned (in a nice way) why she was interested in someone 400 miles away and almost 15 years older than she...

Worth the Price in Gold?

Here's something I was hesitant to keep track of, but may prove enlightening...

Cost of getting back on the horse so far (approx):
5 dates, and it's been about $525 shelled out!! Now, granted there were two days at a concert with tix I already had bought (but could have sold), plus a baseball game, wine tasting and a dinner and drinks and extras. Holy mole sauce, maybe I'll put the breaks on that and start with a nice $1.75 cup of coffee and stroll in the park instead! This is silly.

But I'll keep a running tab and try and put a price on meeting the right gal! Sheesh, maybe it can be a tax write-off...

Speakeasy and why nots...

Speakeasy. Fun little library o' bourbon downtown. Speak easy, as in "keep it down so you don't get caught doing something you shouldn't!". Like, I should keep my voice down when I'm standing on the corner with my date waiting to be let in the bar when guess who walks by? A woman who I met at last weekend's party who I not-so-tactfully told "I'm not really dating now". (I hope that run-on sentence made sense.). So, I spoke easily and she (the party-girl) didn't hear me. Plus, the date I was with didn't notice my slow-turning-of-the-back either. Hmm, this is a smaller city than I think it is.

Brings up a few questions: Am I ready to date? I mean I think I am; working backwards, I'm dating, so if I weren't dating, I suppose I wouldn't be ready. Ok, backwards thinking isn't helpful. Perhaps I should rely on the "you know when you know".

Otherwise, the date itself went well enough. Dinner, then to the aforementioned speakeasy. I felt bad as it got towards midnight and she has (had) a 7 AM flight this morning. I guess it's saying something that she stayed up like a trooper! But she'll be away for a week or two, so pressing "pause" on this one.

Nothing really up next save for the younger girl quandry. I mean we all know it's easier for men to date younger women these days and I feel for my mid-late 30-something women friends who only get hit on by 40 or 50-something guys. Not fair at all. But I'm not sure how to approach this gal who seems to have taken a fancy with me. Dilemma? Not in this city, only an hour away. Oh, by plane, that is. Next up, we've been corresponding by email and honestly hitting it off as much as one can over email. I know that leaves a lot for projection and fantasy stuff. But one of my friends said, "why not? Just see where it goes." Fair enough. But can't/won't invest too much energy into this. (But coincidently I will be in her city in a few weeks and we're planning on a brunch...).

Reconnected with a friend today. She was the contact person for that TV house-makeover show I was on last year. We hit it off (she's married with kid). So she invited me to join her and her girlfriends tonight downtown. No other plans, so hey, "why not?!" We'll see!

Day After/Recap

Well made it unscathed from the Def Leppard/Poison concert last night. Had to dodge many wild animals (cougars abound) - but was fun. I did learn two important things: "Every Rose Has Its Thorn" and people get very excited about the prospect of pouring sugar on themselves.


Here's a snibit...
Ok, well I tried to add a video, but no sound. That Bret Michaels, he's not just a host on VH-1.

Now moving on, there's a little old/new phenomena returning to my social calendar. Dating!

Geeze. I suppose a brief recap is called for:
c. 2007 - single. dated. (um, sort of a lot). A few Vegas trips, met some very cool cats, had a few parties and yadda yadda. Some prospects, some mild heart breaks, so what's a fella to do? Go online!
c. 2008 - met and started dating G. (punchline, she moved out a few months ago). Had a bit of a struggle being more enamored with the idea of being enamored rather than actually being enamored. Or something like that. But you get the idea.
c. 2009 - (she moves out - we'll call it cordial). It's summertime and wedding time. Family members are having unf'ing believable rad weddings (hmm, sorry I missed blogging on that one!). And so with the help, motivation and support (sounds like an AA meeting!), I get back on my feet. A month or so ago, slowly start warming up to the idea of dating.

Past two weeks: back in the game! Tossed a great party with my neighbor last weekend to kick it off. I've met a few people so far on first dates, but no seconds. This is a small city; one girl I went to the same middle school and another we went to the same high school. Tonight's date lived two blocks away from my SoCal cousin until she moved up here.

So yes, tonight's plan is dinner and maybe a beverage at this fun speakeasy bar downtown. We'll see how it goes!

Two final thoughts: note to self: clean suit for ex-GF's wedding and no hitting on the bridesmaids (or is it fair game?) And two, remind self to blog about the girl in SoCal who's been writing me extensively, works at a hedge fund, is very cute and smart, but um, let's just say very much my junior in age. Geeze. Morals and values. But wish me luck tonight and remember, every rose does have it's thorn...

New Beginnings and Birthdays!

Well, I'm back. And ironically, it's my birthday today. So perhaps there's themes of rebirth and presents and all that crap, but mostly, I'm still single. Hopefully I've learned from a recent relationship and have a ton of adventures ahead! Happy Birthday to me, damnit! :) We'll see if this blog is as fruitful and interesting as "Romancing the Psychiatrist" was...only one way to find out.

In fact tonight starts with a concert with friends, then (yes, already) a first date tomorrow. And this weekend? Oh, nothing, except the wedding of my ex-girlfriend! I sense a story brewing!